What Is That?

Olympia, WA: With the cooler days of autumn up here in the Pacific Northwest, the leaves are changing colors and football season is in full swing. I live in a football family: from a husband who played with USC in the early Seventies, National Championship, two Rose Bowl games to Joshua, 13, playing on Tumwater Middle School Firebird 8th grade team and Thurston County Youth Football League and Isaiah, 8, playing his second year with TCYFL.
This means I'm on the sidelines of a football field for hours. Now I'm one of the loudest during the game, they know their Gramma is cheering them on. But the boys have to be there an hour before the game for warm ups. Hmm, what's a writer to do for an hour? (raising my hand) I know, pull out my trusty AlphaSmart and start clicking away.
A what? I can already hear the questions. I get them all the time at the stadiums. "What is that?" An AlphaSmart 3000. Okay, mine is already five or six years old. There are newer versions available from the company. This portable, light weight piece of genius running 700 hours on three (3) double AA batteries, holding over 100 pages of text should be in every writer's arsenal.
Read those details again. I can pull out my AlphaSmart and have whole scenes sketched out for a novel, or punch up character details, or work on my latest book proposal while sitting in a cold, damp stadium on a Saturday morning. It automatically saves and I can upload the pages to Word when I get home.
I've used it sitting in my car in a parking lot ten, fifteen minutes before going into my day job. My AlphaSmart goes with me through Little League season year after year. There is no excuse not to be able to write a page a day or more when you have an AlphaSmart in your briefcase or bag. Eight files can store multiple works in progress.
What is it? An AlphaSmart is a writer's best friend for getting a first draft down, for punching up a scene, for brainstorming a new non-fiction book, or a timely article about first aid on a football field.
Hmm, the holidays are coming. I think you'd better order one for yourself. You deserve it.

June 12 is CNS Awareness Day

Olympia, Washington, June 6, 2007—What’s Crowded Nest Syndrome? It’s when your home, your nest if you will, includes more than just yourself and/or your spouse. A crowded nest can involve returning adult children, taking care of aging parents, raising grandchildren, or any other relatives or friends that move in.

You Know You’re Living in a Crowded Nest When…

• Your other car is a U-Haul.


• You have to take a number to use the bathroom.


• There’s a waiting list for the washing machine.


• The fire department pulls your occupancy permit.


• You go to use your car on Monday morning and the gas tank is empty.


• You buy $250 worth of groceries and it disappears in less than 24 hours.
  

June 12 is CNS Awareness Day. If you don’t live in a crowded nest, be grateful. If you know someone who does, take them out to dinner, give them two tickets to a movie, anything to get them out of the house for some peace and quiet.

Rules to Survive Crowded Nest Syndrome:

• Do not make them comfortable; they will never leave.
  Padlock everything, the washer & dryer, the refrigerator and your bathroom.


• More Laundry + More People = Cold Showers
  Hot water tanks handle only so much. Get yours in first.


• Take care of yourself; no one else will.
  Find your happy place and go there—often. Eat right, exercise, and hide out at Wal-Mart, at least they’re paid to smile at you.


• You have the right to eat your own leftovers.
  Boomerangs go right for Styrofoam boxes, doggie bags. Hide them in the vegetable bin.


• This is not the Marriott, no Free Amenities.
  Set up a schedule for the computer, the telephone and the television. Charge for them accordingly. Laundry services? Sure, at so much per load.
  
  CNS Commandments
  Whoever wakes up first has access to the most.
  Chocolate is sacred, hoard it
  When all else fails, double your Prozac.
  

Happy CNS Awareness Day, June 12th.

Copyright © 2007, Kathleen Shaputis is the author of “The Crowded Nest Syndrome,” a humorous look at a growing trend in America. Available at Amazon.com and www.Shaputis.com.

The Year of 9's

2007 should be a lucky year for me, it's a 9 year.
2+0+0+7=9
I love 9's and this year falls into a bushel of them. I celebrate my 18th wedding anniversary in September. (And they said it would never last.) Then I turn 54, another 9! Should I play the lottery? Swing by the Indian casino? How do you take advantage of such atypical momentum?

So far, it seems no different. I'm deep into my day job working with authors at Gorham Printing. Short-run digital printing is becoming more and more popular. I presented at Write On the Beach Writers Conference in January, encouraging the students. Independent publishing can be quite successful if they're ready to put their shoulder to the market madness.

I'm shopping for an agent with Randi Altschul for our commercial women's fiction titled "Sorry, You Can't Enter Heaven." Wish us luck. Buck Henry's read it and loved it. It's great fodder for water cooler talk, and a film vehicle for seasoned actresses like Susan Sarandon or Sally Fields. I'm ready to go Hollywood.